news on tv make me sick, there is no good news, all news especially local news make people so fed up with the country, all the terible and horrible thing was flash on tv screen, and we keep consuming how bad this country was.how inappropiate government act due to many cases...
let me list what news that stayed few weeks on tv screen :
1. Gayus and his hidden treasure
2. Nunun and her lost memory
3. Nasarudin "the most wanted man"
4. TKI (pacung lah, sembelih lah, potong lah, gantung lah)
5. Naughty judges
6. Corruption
gheez this is why i hate local channel...where we can gain our love back to our country if MEDIA keep showing us how bad this country is..i agree, i know our country is in a worst condition, noone can trust anyone..but we stayed in INDONESIA dude...
dont make something bad become worst, government is all the nonsense things, all they have to do is make people in government get richer and richer but this doesnt mean that we have to create another problem by starting riot and protest in every way we can...
life is too short...all our life we should do what we can do best, like written on a bible "give what you should give to your country and give what you should give to your God" , i guess the rest let the God manage it and let people who did a bad thing get their punishment not by us , but by God, i know it sounds so lame, but who are we to judge and punish them and tell them "YOU STUPID HUMAN BEING" as we are also not perfect...
if you do love your country lets start with it with small thing you can do for your country :
1. pay your taxes (i know i hate this part too..but somehow this country need money to cover every expenses with or without additional cost that get inside people in government pocket)
2. respect each other (im chinese and im christian . the minor citizen in indonesia but i respect every single human being that different with me, i didnt say different is beautiful but its a variety, please dont judge people by the cover...not all chinese perfect so please dont judge people who non chinese is bad guy)
3. read the news, comment less, move on with your life
4. lets make indonesia a better living for our children and grand children by not THROWING RUBBISH everywher
5. gather with your family, pray for this country
well like i said before, i just noone in this big country but i love Indonesia despite how bad it is...
so i will proud of my country no matter what happening :)
MERDEKA!!!!
7.05.2011
7.04.2011
GOD versus Religion
on weekend i was requesting Bond to go chruch with me..on sunday morning, he told me he gonna take me and lil cheri to go church together... :) finally after a very long time we absence from the presence of people in the church we back!
no no its not like i take back on what i think about church and their hidden politic and behave.
i just miss being around my Father in heaven. i just wanna be close with him, i want my family also feel the same, cheri must be guide on to His path and lil cheri is in his time to learn everything new..and all knowledge start with scared of God...
i cant deny how much i dislike people in the church (not all of them but most of them), i dont know what other religion system, but in church, i feel disapointing, feel hatred to people who service Father. they keep showing to other people how they so good doing things in church (Worship leader, singer, musician even a priest) . i dont have right to judge people, it just my opinion. they brag about it, keep talking this and that holy thing but behind every people they will start talking about other people bad.. "hey did you know this person bla bla blaaa...hey do you know that he just...." people who called themselves holy and dedicated to God is just as same as sinner like other people.
These days GOD is no longer versus SATAN, but versus with the religion...
have you ever notice how people keep talking "on monday i have this prayer meeting, on tuesday i have singing practice, on wednesday i have this and that until sunday bla bla bla.." and all they did just do the routine so they feel like they are an EXIST person..gheez....if you want to served GOD, served with your sincere heart, served like you dont have to tell other people what you have did for HIM....and when they busy doing so many service for church and do they really get intimate with God?
i didnt say im not sinner, or im holy, or im perfect??im not..im a normal human being, doing sin everyday i guess, and im in phase where im trying to pray every morning :P but im not a hypocrite...
church is a place where we have desire to meet God , want to intimate with Him and listen the words from Him, not a place where we found that we more miserable when we go to church...
church is not a place to show off, to be a diva/artist/watever famous person for...wake up people...do you really served your GOD or served yourself?
no no its not like i take back on what i think about church and their hidden politic and behave.
i just miss being around my Father in heaven. i just wanna be close with him, i want my family also feel the same, cheri must be guide on to His path and lil cheri is in his time to learn everything new..and all knowledge start with scared of God...
i cant deny how much i dislike people in the church (not all of them but most of them), i dont know what other religion system, but in church, i feel disapointing, feel hatred to people who service Father. they keep showing to other people how they so good doing things in church (Worship leader, singer, musician even a priest) . i dont have right to judge people, it just my opinion. they brag about it, keep talking this and that holy thing but behind every people they will start talking about other people bad.. "hey did you know this person bla bla blaaa...hey do you know that he just...." people who called themselves holy and dedicated to God is just as same as sinner like other people.
These days GOD is no longer versus SATAN, but versus with the religion...
have you ever notice how people keep talking "on monday i have this prayer meeting, on tuesday i have singing practice, on wednesday i have this and that until sunday bla bla bla.." and all they did just do the routine so they feel like they are an EXIST person..gheez....if you want to served GOD, served with your sincere heart, served like you dont have to tell other people what you have did for HIM....and when they busy doing so many service for church and do they really get intimate with God?
i didnt say im not sinner, or im holy, or im perfect??im not..im a normal human being, doing sin everyday i guess, and im in phase where im trying to pray every morning :P but im not a hypocrite...
church is a place where we have desire to meet God , want to intimate with Him and listen the words from Him, not a place where we found that we more miserable when we go to church...
church is not a place to show off, to be a diva/artist/watever famous person for...wake up people...do you really served your GOD or served yourself?
7.01.2011
have you ever?
have you ever feel that you love someone too much and you cant say how much you love him/her and you do so much but you keep thinking its not enaugh..
have you ever feel your hug is too small?you want to give a warm big hug that he/she can feel what you feel?
have you ever kiss that you wish it last forever?and everytime you close your eyes, you just wanna stop the time...and you dont want anything else?
have you ever feel the safety place in when you in his/her arms, although earthquake or world war were just in front of your door house?
and after all tragedy , love hate relationship, all the anger, all the stupid words and thought, you know you cant runaway no more...
have you ever saw when they sleep next to you, how lucky you are, how you keep thinking when you first time met this person, and how he changed your world upside down
and when finally you lay ur head in his chest and hug by his arm...and you still cant sleep to think so many things..feel like so many butterfly in your tummy that make you keep wondering and thinking what it would like if you dont have him next to you, how it will be on the next 10 or 15 years?will it be the same...
have you ever feel its not the make out thing that matters but his/her touch on your cheek, his/her kiss on your lips that make you feel like in the top of the world, its about his touch, his care and his love that you want..nothing else...
have you ever feel your hug is too small?you want to give a warm big hug that he/she can feel what you feel?
have you ever kiss that you wish it last forever?and everytime you close your eyes, you just wanna stop the time...and you dont want anything else?
have you ever feel the safety place in when you in his/her arms, although earthquake or world war were just in front of your door house?
and after all tragedy , love hate relationship, all the anger, all the stupid words and thought, you know you cant runaway no more...
have you ever saw when they sleep next to you, how lucky you are, how you keep thinking when you first time met this person, and how he changed your world upside down
and when finally you lay ur head in his chest and hug by his arm...and you still cant sleep to think so many things..feel like so many butterfly in your tummy that make you keep wondering and thinking what it would like if you dont have him next to you, how it will be on the next 10 or 15 years?will it be the same...
have you ever feel its not the make out thing that matters but his/her touch on your cheek, his/her kiss on your lips that make you feel like in the top of the world, its about his touch, his care and his love that you want..nothing else...
I'm gonna give my secrets away...
I need another story
Something to get off my chest
My life gets kinda boring
Need something that I can confess
Til’ all my sleeves are stained red
From all the truth that I’ve said
Come by it honestly I swear
Thought you saw me wink, no
I’ve been on the brink, so
Tell me what you want to hear
Something that were like those years
Sick of all the insincere
So I’m gonna give all my secrets away
This time, don’t need another perfect line
Don’t care if critics never jump in line
I’m gonna give all my secrets away
My god, amazing how we got this far
It’s like we’re chasing all those stars
Who’s driving shiny big black cars
And everyday I see the news
All the problems that we could solve
And when a situation rises
Just write it into an album
Singing straight, too cold
I don’t really like my flow, no, so
Tell me what you want to hear
Something that were like those years
Sick of all the insincere
So I’m gonna give all my secrets away
This time, don’t need another perfect line
Don’t care if critics never jump in line
I’m gonna give all my secrets away
Oh, got no reason, got not shame
Got no family I can blame
Just don’t let me disappear
I’mma tell you everything
So tell me what you want to hear
Something that were like those years
Sick of all the insincere
So I’m gonna give all my secrets away
This time, don’t need another perfect line
Don’t care if critics never jump in line
I’m gonna give all my secrets away
Something to get off my chest
My life gets kinda boring
Need something that I can confess
Til’ all my sleeves are stained red
From all the truth that I’ve said
Come by it honestly I swear
Thought you saw me wink, no
I’ve been on the brink, so
Tell me what you want to hear
Something that were like those years
Sick of all the insincere
So I’m gonna give all my secrets away
This time, don’t need another perfect line
Don’t care if critics never jump in line
I’m gonna give all my secrets away
My god, amazing how we got this far
It’s like we’re chasing all those stars
Who’s driving shiny big black cars
And everyday I see the news
All the problems that we could solve
And when a situation rises
Just write it into an album
Singing straight, too cold
I don’t really like my flow, no, so
Tell me what you want to hear
Something that were like those years
Sick of all the insincere
So I’m gonna give all my secrets away
This time, don’t need another perfect line
Don’t care if critics never jump in line
I’m gonna give all my secrets away
Oh, got no reason, got not shame
Got no family I can blame
Just don’t let me disappear
I’mma tell you everything
So tell me what you want to hear
Something that were like those years
Sick of all the insincere
So I’m gonna give all my secrets away
This time, don’t need another perfect line
Don’t care if critics never jump in line
I’m gonna give all my secrets away
ONE YEAR
its been more than a year after all the drama, tears, happiness and other and other...
still stnad right here and when several time i keep wondering when i will get married, i havent get a staright answer...honestly ....inhale exhale.........well im not going to die if i didnt get marry right away isnt it?
well life been up and down, rasing a toodler is not an easy job, emotion, patience and ..........
in laws spoilt lil cheri too much until he didnt know which one is right and which one is wrong...
no complain, no comment...
everytime i heard cindy telling story about her pregnancy or fira with his lilttle cute boy..i just deep down look at myself and see what i achieved..i know i cant thanks enaugh to God for everything that I have now, but i really am a greedy girl, with alot of request, want everything instant...want everything quick, planned and organized...
i have so many dreams, so many wishes , so many thing to achieved, but i feel im stuck, i cant do anything. I cant socialize, im losing my friends, i cant go singing, i even cant buy a camera for myself...everything must have approved from him....what left for me to do?except working and do the routine house chores...this is why i cant wait for my trip to singapore....the runaway trip...free, yeay!
i wanna visit cindy when she in labor on september, i cant see the reason i cant giving a hope to her that i will do my best to be on her side when she give birth, bond keep saying that i shouldnt make any promises (im not) coz i will just make her disapointed when i cant be around. but i bet she will understand if i really cant make it that something must be very important that i cant run from.
this whole one year is about getting know his family, making a bond, making adjustment...but i miss my family, i miss my mom, sister and everyone else..i wish he also can spend time with my family..ingres did came visit us and im glad i can see her...
gheez i feel like im complaining so much about my life...
i just feel stuck...bored and stuck! wanna escape for a while...
still stnad right here and when several time i keep wondering when i will get married, i havent get a staright answer...honestly ....inhale exhale.........well im not going to die if i didnt get marry right away isnt it?
well life been up and down, rasing a toodler is not an easy job, emotion, patience and ..........
in laws spoilt lil cheri too much until he didnt know which one is right and which one is wrong...
no complain, no comment...
everytime i heard cindy telling story about her pregnancy or fira with his lilttle cute boy..i just deep down look at myself and see what i achieved..i know i cant thanks enaugh to God for everything that I have now, but i really am a greedy girl, with alot of request, want everything instant...want everything quick, planned and organized...
i have so many dreams, so many wishes , so many thing to achieved, but i feel im stuck, i cant do anything. I cant socialize, im losing my friends, i cant go singing, i even cant buy a camera for myself...everything must have approved from him....what left for me to do?except working and do the routine house chores...this is why i cant wait for my trip to singapore....the runaway trip...free, yeay!
i wanna visit cindy when she in labor on september, i cant see the reason i cant giving a hope to her that i will do my best to be on her side when she give birth, bond keep saying that i shouldnt make any promises (im not) coz i will just make her disapointed when i cant be around. but i bet she will understand if i really cant make it that something must be very important that i cant run from.
this whole one year is about getting know his family, making a bond, making adjustment...but i miss my family, i miss my mom, sister and everyone else..i wish he also can spend time with my family..ingres did came visit us and im glad i can see her...
gheez i feel like im complaining so much about my life...
i just feel stuck...bored and stuck! wanna escape for a while...
11.25.2010
dont lemme go...
i try to erase the shadow in my head..but everytime i passed starbucks, jco and few corner..i smile and i cant just remove the memories yet...things do gettin better between me and bond..but then sometimes i feel i miss my wild side..miss hang out, miz do crazy things, miz going out till late and dawn, miz goin cinema, singing till have no voice left...i feel so olddd....bored!
i try to find the exictment that i can write on this post, but i cant find one...
well this two weeks we been to chicken farm few times, at first it was fun, but the 3rd visit its become a routine that you cant avoid to..i perfectly know that he have some shares on the chicken bussiness but did he need spend up to 5 hours and feed the chicken by himself?i mean come on, he bring his little boy and me..we wait fed up in the car..that was so making me upset!he got 2 man that can feed the chicken...and there the holiday just gone..and we went home..did nothing, sleep...we dont even watch a good show on tv...the weekend and holiday become so bored..i dont wait for any weekend anylonger...
good things, the chicken price is go higher..so well i think he got profit from it! hmph...
i wonder he got a debt but why i must feel the uneasy things too...
i mean i work so hard..and yet i must still cantt spend the money...
but i did a little shopping..online one.. :P
and i think i spend so much on our needs, like foods and stuff..
well hmph...yeah life pretty bored right now..sigh!
i miz the black swift :P well..hahahahahhaaaaa...
i try to find the exictment that i can write on this post, but i cant find one...
well this two weeks we been to chicken farm few times, at first it was fun, but the 3rd visit its become a routine that you cant avoid to..i perfectly know that he have some shares on the chicken bussiness but did he need spend up to 5 hours and feed the chicken by himself?i mean come on, he bring his little boy and me..we wait fed up in the car..that was so making me upset!he got 2 man that can feed the chicken...and there the holiday just gone..and we went home..did nothing, sleep...we dont even watch a good show on tv...the weekend and holiday become so bored..i dont wait for any weekend anylonger...
good things, the chicken price is go higher..so well i think he got profit from it! hmph...
i wonder he got a debt but why i must feel the uneasy things too...
i mean i work so hard..and yet i must still cantt spend the money...
but i did a little shopping..online one.. :P
and i think i spend so much on our needs, like foods and stuff..
well hmph...yeah life pretty bored right now..sigh!
i miz the black swift :P well..hahahahahhaaaaa...
11.05.2010
my heart bleeded (part 2)
this 2 months become a hell
feelin so sick
feelin betrayed
feelin heart broken
feelin empty
feelin devastated
the lie, the anger, the emotion, the selfish, the ignorance make everything worse...
struggle..and its all just a shame...
started with when someone take you for granted
then you realise how small you are
and when one lie cover by another untruth stories
your heart bleeded...
the past, the future everything become blur with the reality of today that you are going to face...
feel lost
almost lost life..
almost lost friends
almost lost dignity
almost lost tomorrow
and almost lost the breath
keep thinkin where i went wrong
what did i do
then i know how good and how hard i am trying, its come in a waste when someone already not treasure you
i learn to stand up with bare foot
i learn to breath with new atmosphere
learn to step in a new empty street
from one street to another street
from one story to another story
and i found nothing
friends come with a lot of opinion
come with alot emotion
come with alot of anger
come with alot of instructions
and i did nothing...
i feel old
i feel unpowered
i feel alone
i feel weak
my leg shaking
my heart beating slower
and my mind start to killing me
you come from no where
reach out my drowning hand
and teach me bout life
and every minute and hour and nights its become a small hope
and every song that we sing
every bullshit that we talked about
its become a smile when you have your nitemare
but its all just a dream
and now i need to wake up
and face that my heart belong to someone
n he is standing in front of me
beggin for the sake 10 years that we been through
although how im longing to sleep and not to wake up anymore
but aint it fair for him if i doesnt give him last chance to breath?
i guess its time to say goodbye
and back to the circle...
so long mr.brightside
feelin so sick
feelin betrayed
feelin heart broken
feelin empty
feelin devastated
the lie, the anger, the emotion, the selfish, the ignorance make everything worse...
struggle..and its all just a shame...
started with when someone take you for granted
then you realise how small you are
and when one lie cover by another untruth stories
your heart bleeded...
the past, the future everything become blur with the reality of today that you are going to face...
feel lost
almost lost life..
almost lost friends
almost lost dignity
almost lost tomorrow
and almost lost the breath
keep thinkin where i went wrong
what did i do
then i know how good and how hard i am trying, its come in a waste when someone already not treasure you
i learn to stand up with bare foot
i learn to breath with new atmosphere
learn to step in a new empty street
from one street to another street
from one story to another story
and i found nothing
friends come with a lot of opinion
come with alot emotion
come with alot of anger
come with alot of instructions
and i did nothing...
i feel old
i feel unpowered
i feel alone
i feel weak
my leg shaking
my heart beating slower
and my mind start to killing me
you come from no where
reach out my drowning hand
and teach me bout life
and every minute and hour and nights its become a small hope
and every song that we sing
every bullshit that we talked about
its become a smile when you have your nitemare
but its all just a dream
and now i need to wake up
and face that my heart belong to someone
n he is standing in front of me
beggin for the sake 10 years that we been through
although how im longing to sleep and not to wake up anymore
but aint it fair for him if i doesnt give him last chance to breath?
i guess its time to say goodbye
and back to the circle...
so long mr.brightside
my heart bleeded...
Hey boy, is she everything you wanted in a woman?
You know I gave you the world
You had me in the palm of your hand
So why your love went away
I just can't seem to understand
Thought it was me and you babe
Me and you until the end
But I guess I was wrong
Don't want to think about it
Don't want to talk about it
I'm just so sick about it
Can't believe it's ending this way
Just so confused about it
Feeling the blues about it
I just can't do without ya
Tell me is this fair?
Is this the way it's really going down?
Is this how we say goodbye?
Should've known better when you came around
That you were gonna make me cry
It's breaking my heart to watch you run around
'Cause I know that you're living a lie
That's okay baby 'cause in time you will find...
Let me paint this picture for you, baby
You spend your nights alone
And she never comes home
And every time you call her
All you get's a busy tone
I heard you found out
That she's doing to you
What you did to me
Ain't that the way it goes
When you cheated boy
My heart bleeded boy
So it goes without saying that you left me feeling hurt
Just a classic case
A scenario
Tale as old as time
boy you got what you deserved
And now you want somebody
To cure the lonely nights
You wish you had somebody
That could come and make it right
But boy I ain't somebody with a lot of sympathy
You'll see
You know I gave you the world
You had me in the palm of your hand
So why your love went away
I just can't seem to understand
Thought it was me and you babe
Me and you until the end
But I guess I was wrong
Don't want to think about it
Don't want to talk about it
I'm just so sick about it
Can't believe it's ending this way
Just so confused about it
Feeling the blues about it
I just can't do without ya
Tell me is this fair?
Is this the way it's really going down?
Is this how we say goodbye?
Should've known better when you came around
That you were gonna make me cry
It's breaking my heart to watch you run around
'Cause I know that you're living a lie
That's okay baby 'cause in time you will find...
Let me paint this picture for you, baby
You spend your nights alone
And she never comes home
And every time you call her
All you get's a busy tone
I heard you found out
That she's doing to you
What you did to me
Ain't that the way it goes
When you cheated boy
My heart bleeded boy
So it goes without saying that you left me feeling hurt
Just a classic case
A scenario
Tale as old as time
boy you got what you deserved
And now you want somebody
To cure the lonely nights
You wish you had somebody
That could come and make it right
But boy I ain't somebody with a lot of sympathy
You'll see
10.14.2010
the silver birthday
1st pic : Dinner at HU'U (suprise dinner)
2nd pic : Birthday or Honeymoon cake (BOND IDEA... :p )
3rd pic : cake n us...
9.09.2010
my baby dont mess around because he love me so...
1st pic : Bali bird park - 17th August 2010
2nd pic : Jayagiri - weekend
3rd pic : bond n little cheri at Bali Bird Park
4th pic : Gift from Philipines :)
***
Finally, the divorce, court and everything between bond n ima was finally over. Thanks God, we get the custody over Dhika.. im glad and happy. Oh yes it come with a celebration too. on 17th August three of us, bond, little cheri and me was went to Bali Bird Parks, this is little cheri n my first time visit to Bali Bird Park.
we have so much fun, chasing the bird, watching so many attraction, 4d cinemas, and little cheri was so funny, he keep screaming when this big bird chasing him..and he was a little brave boy..we love little cheri so much..bond in other site was more exicting about the eagle attraction..i was amazed by the owls..we had Kentucky for lunch then Cianjur for dinner. this few weeks, we spent time together especially on the weekend.
Little cheri was grew up so fast, n he learn alot, he can speak so many new words and express what he see and what he feel. we are proud of him. bond told me one time when bond n me was BBM ing, little cheri was took bond bb away and saw my profile picture and he was saying this "ihhh..mommy gayaa!" and bond was laugh out loud like crazy maniac...
ok now the biggest update...
i was staying at bond place over this few days, and last friday, i was doing house chores like every morning, n i were vacuming the room and was watching spongebob..and suddenly bond dad was coming out from nowhere.....i was petrified, thinking to pretending faint, but i was wearing night gown..oh no..then he was saying "oh um..ya ga papa silahkan dilanjutkan", i was still holding the vacum and do know wat to do..then in 5mins, his mum came to the room when i was washing dishes...i was...um err..she asks few things then after i took a bath i went down stairs and here the interview go...from who am i, where i come from, where i met bond, and my family, my school, things, job, religion..gheezzz...but they are very nice people..they very kind and polite and they keep remind me to not get quarell with bond over this matter. they said they ok with this situation as long i will support bond and not fight everyday...(im not ima) but from all this crazy thing , bond and me relieved coz his parents know me already. and after bond reach home, his parents was giving an opinion bout me..they were saying im kind, independent and open. :)
Well i cant say grace enaugh for everything i got...i have a great family..especially bond, he was being so nice and understanding, although we still somehow have a fight but he is a great guy...i love him so much... :)
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